Small talk?

It’s the ‘starting point of all relationships’

By Katherine Sears

For many people, attending a holiday party to socialize with others is the highlight of this time of year. For others, even approaching one person is enough to produce clammy palms and a racing heart.

Anxiety over making casual conversation, or “small talk,” at a social function can force those who are shy to isolate themselves. However, they can discover the techniques needed to engage in conversation and enjoy social functions through a how-to manual published by Bernardo Carducci, professor of psychology at IU Southeast and director of the Shyness Institute on the New Albany campus.

The Pocket Guide to Making Successful Small Talk: How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere, About Anything gives advice and tips to people who lack confidence in their ability to initiate and maintain conversation with others during a social gathering. Carducci’s pocket-sized manual is a follow-up to his popular book, Shyness—A Bold New Approach, which generated national media attention, including appearances on network morning talk shows and a cover story in Psychology Today.

Unlike the formal publishing process, Carducci went through Harper Collins for his shyness book and the professor handled all of the publishing details for this manual himself.

Carducci says there is more involved with gaining and learning skills to engage in small talk than common sense.

“Small talk is the starting point of all relationships,” he writes in a description of the book. He says the tag “small talk” connotes the perception that such conversation is trivial and unimportant. On the contrary, small talk is the basis for beginning relationships and boosting confidence.

“Many people think small talk is an innate talent. In fact, it’s an acquired skill. There is a structure, and there are rules of engagement,” he writes, adding that once individuals learn the basic structure, they soon find connecting with others becoming less intimidating.

Carducci also raises the point that in today’s technologically advanced society, many people are losing the art of day-to-day conversation.

For ordering information, go to this Web site:

http://www.carducci.com/